Proposal Paper Concerns

My main concern is whether or not my paper is organized in a way that makes sense.  I would like to know if it flows well.  I am wondering if I have included everything that I needed to.  I would also like to know if I have justified my answer well enough.  Is it long enough?  These are my main concerns about my paper.

In Class Writing 11-22

I. A policy at USC that needs to be changed is the meal plan system.  Russell House profits when we do not use our meal and when we do.  Depending on what we buy or how much we buy, our meal goes over the cost that the meal covers.  This means that we have to pay extra for our food.  Then, when we do not use a meal, we lose it because they do not roll over.  I think that leftover meals should be used to pay for meal when it runs over.  We already pay way too much money to go to this school and we should be able to get a full meal on our plan alone. 

Planning Essay 4

The problem is that world hunger has existed since the beginning of time and needs immediate attention.  Possible solutions include governmental organizations, individual organizations, biotechnology to achieve global security, and technological advances in farming.  I would like to propose that individual organizations will be the solution to the issue of world hunger.  I will need to do more research in support of this claim because I did not have many sources already in my annotated bibliography that were focused specifically on this topic. 

ICW 11-15

The difference between my paper from Thursday and my paper today is that I was able to extend some of my perspectives to lengthen it.  Also, I realized that I never defined my thesis statement so I made sure to include it in my paper.  The analysis of the sample essay was helpful in understanding the assignment, but not very helpful in actually writing it.  I was not able to open the file that contained my peer review comments.  The strongest element of my paper is probably the content because the sources I found were strong.  I'm concerned that my paper does not meet the length requirement.

SWA #24 Chicken in the Henhouse

Sedaris argues that Americans do not find homosexuality socially appropriate.  They feel that they can say whatever they want to on the subject, yet they are ill-informed and their words are still destructive.  The essay talks about his personal experience where he describes his thoughts and how he is constantly feeling judgement all around him, even when those people are unaware of his sexuality.  By the end of his personal account, he surprises the readers because he receives a compliment when both the audience and himself are expecting scrutiny.  He uses humor to reflect on Audrey's homophobic comments by pointing out that she is uninformed and inexperienced in the subject matter.  His sarcasm and wit about her comments helps the audience see the stereotypes and discrimination from a different perspective.  He is trying to show the audience that the majority of people that stereotype homosexuals are ignorant.  Even though their words are harmful, they are clueless and should not be given credit for their responses.

Annotated Bibliography on World Hunger

"Hunger Is Still a Problem Around the World" by Ismail Serageldin.  Nutrition.  David Haugen and Susan Musser, Eds.  Opposing Viewpoints Series.  Greenhaven Press, 2012.  Ismail Serageldin, "Abolishing Hunger,"  Issues in Science & Technology, vol. 25, no. 4, Summer 2009, pp. 35-38;  Fall 2009 by the University of Texas at Dallas, Richardson, TX.  Reprinted with permission.

This article would interest anyone who wants to help change the food system in the world.  The audience could be anyone.  The article offered many instructions to take in order to fix the current problems.  An increase in food production, which would lead to an increase in technology, new biofuels, more research, and new developments of water use, would all contribute to fixing the problems.  The author is pointing out the things that are wrong with the system and offering many different solutions.  The article didn't alter my viewpoint, but I definitely agree with the claims.  The hunger issue should be addressed and the author's suggestions would be beneficial towards the solution.

Searchinger, Timothy.  "A Quick Fix to the Food Crisis."  Scientific American 305.1 (2011): 14. Psychology and Behavioral Sciences Collection.  EBSCO.  Web 26 Oct. 2011

This article matches its title.  The audience would be anyone interested in fixing the food industry.  This one offers some useful statistics.  The main idea is that biofuels are in too much demand and that they are taking away from our ability to feed the hungry.  I agree with the author's claims and I think that this issue should be addressed.

Sanchez, Pedro A., and M. S. Swaminathan. "Cutting World Hunger in Half." Sciencemag.org. Science Magazine, 21 Jan. 2005. Web. 02 Nov. 2011. <http://www.sciencemag.org/content/307/5708/357.full>.

This source is objective.  This article would interest anyone curious about world hunger and a possible solution.  This article is based on statistics about The Millennium Project, a United Nations task to help reduce the number of hungry people in the world.  The "hot spots of world hunger" are mostly around Africa and India.  The article identifies three ways to cut hunger in half by means of global political action, national policy reforms, and community action in hunger hot spots.  I learned many statistics that have possibly grown in the past 6 years since it was written.  I agree because the authors said that reducing world hunger would depend on the governments of these nations.  If those governments have little corruption and are cooperative with the people, then progress will be achieved.  This will be useful in my project because of the information and the suggestions that the article has provided. 

Borlaug, Norman E. "Ending World Hunger. The Promise of Biotechnology and the Threat of Antiscience Zealotry." Plant Physiology. American Society of Plant Physiologists, Oct. 2000. Web. 02 Nov. 2011. <http://www.plantphysiol.org/content/124/2/487.full>.

Biotechnology can help end world hunger.  By designing plants differently, they can develop plants faster and therefore have more crops to offer.  The author claims that technology today has the ability to feed 10 billion people but that many would need to adopt the methods in order for it to have an impact.  Breakthroughs involving the genetic engineering of plants could lead to solving the problem.    

Anderson, Kerby. "World Hunger." Leadership University. Probe Ministries, 5 Aug. 2003. Web. 07 Nov. 2011. <http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/hunger.html>.

            The main causes of hunger are poverty, population, and priorities.  The people that live in poverty are the ones that are hungry and vice versa.  The population is growing dramatically and impacting the amount of hungry people around the world.  Anderson says, “Governmental control makes hunger worse.”  This article makes many references to books in the Bible in response to hunger but then says that there are many “unbiblical solutions.”  Interesting solutions and ideas were expressed in this article including “The Lifeboat Ethic” and “The Christian Ethic”, both of which could be useful. 

Minch, Dr. Kevin J. "Bilateral vs Multilateral Aid: Debatabase - Debate Topics and Debate Motions." IDEA: International Debate Education Association - Debate Resources & Debate Tools. 12 Sept. 2005. Web. 07 Nov. 2011. <http://www.idebate.org/debatabase/topic_details.php?topicID=392>.

This article provides the difference between bilateral and multilateral aid as well as the pros and cons of each.  Bilateral aid is money given through individual organizations while multilateral aid is money routed through large governmental agencies such as the United Nations. The listed pros and cons are new information to me and they would be very helpful when debating this subject in regards to world hunger.

Rosner, Hilary. "The Future of Farming: Eight Solutions For a Hungry World | Popular Science." Popular Science | New Technology, Science News, The Future Now. 7 Aug. 2009. Web. 07 Nov. 2011. <http://www.popsci.com/environment/article/2009-07/8-farming-solution-help-stop-world-hunger>.

A possible solution to world hunger is a second green revolution.  Eight changes to a solution are expressed in this article.  This includes farming the desert, reducing resources, rebuilding rice, replacing fertilizer, remapping the land, robot labor, revitalizing the soil, and making supercrops.  I learned about all of these different farming techniques that could help improve the system and lead the way towards a cure to world hunger.

Shah, Anup. "Solving World Hunger Means Solving World Poverty — Global Issues." Global Issues : Social, Political, Economic and Environmental Issues That Affect Us All — Global Issues. 24 Oct. 2010. Web. 07 Nov. 2011. <http://www.globalissues.org/article/8/solving-world-hunger-means-solving-world-poverty>.

This article seems to believe that production is not a solution to world hunger, but rather solving the issue of poverty goes hand-in-hand with hunger.  The author claims “poverty is largely a political issue.”  The argument is that there is not a lack of food, but a lack of money to purchase food and an unfair distribution of food.  This provides a different opinion towards the subject that does not involve production.

SWA #23

1.
a. My issue is world hunger and that many steps need to be taken in order to work on a solution.  Every 3.6 seconds someone dies of hunger so the public needs to stop being selfish and approach this issue with everything that they've got.  Technological advances and monetary support will lead to a solution especially if majorities of people are willing to offer their support.

b. The groups interested in this issue include those suffering from hunger, scientists, farmers, and everyday people who want to make an impact on the world.  Those suffering will support anyone trying to help them out.  The scientists are interested in helping out through biotechnology.  Farmers may be concerned about new technology and they may not be willing to change their ways if money is an issue in using the technology.  Everyday people will express sympathy towards the subject and try to help out by donating actual food or money through organizations, making themselves aware of what is going on with the subject, and by voting for the people that will work towards fixing the problem.  Poverty is one of the leading causes of hunger, so any medical professionals would be concerned about the hungry because malnutrition threatens their health.

c. Many are in support of helping reduce hunger but a "majority prefers to give aid through multilateral institutions rather than bilaterally."  Average Americans would want to help out, but they would not be too willing to pay the costs.  Many believe that money for world hunger should be given through private organizations as opposed to government programs.

d.  I agree that money towards world hunger should be given out through private organizations over the government.  I think that many programs out there would succeed at accomplishing aid over a government regulated program.

SWA #22

Sanchez, Pedro A., and M. S. Swaminathan. "Cutting World Hunger in Half." Sciencemag.org. Science Magazine, 21 Jan. 2005. Web. 02 Nov. 2011. <http://www.sciencemag.org/content/307/5708/357.full>.


This source is objective.  This article would interest anyone curious about world hunger and a possible solution.  This article is based on statistics about The Millennium Project, a United Nations task to help reduce the number of hungry people in the world.  The "hot spots of world hunger" are mostly around Africa and India.  The article identifies three ways to cut hunger in half by means of global political action, national policy reforms, and community action in hunger hot spots.  I learned many statistics that have possibly grown in the past 6 years since it was written.  I agreed with the authors because they said that reducing world hunger will depend on the governments of these nations.  If those governments have little corruption and are cooperative with the people, then progress will be achieved.  This will be useful in my project because of the information and the suggestions that the article has provided. 


Borlaug, Norman E. "Ending World Hunger. The Promise of Biotechnology and the Threat of Antiscience Zealotry." Plant Physiology. American Society of Plant Physiologists, Oct. 2000. Web. 02 Nov. 2011. <http://www.plantphysiol.org/content/124/2/487.full>.


Biotechnology can help end world hunger.  By designing plants differently, they can develop plants faster and therefore have more crops to offer.  The author claims that technology today has the ability to feed 10 billion people but that many would need to adopt the methods in order for it to have an impact.  Breakthroughs involving the genetic engineering of plants could lead to solving the problem.    

ICW 11-1 The Problem

The problem is that biofuels are using up too many of our food resources that could be better used by feeding the hungry around the world.  It is important that we change our dependency on ethanol soon so that we can do something to help the people out.  The people affected by this change would be a large number.  People might disagree if they think that this change in fuel affects them in any way.

SWA #21

1.  The argument is that people don't take the time to read things, they just expect to understand the whole situation from a title or picture.  Society thinks that the Internet has the solution to every question and this suggests that the details are not important.  People think that reading a whole article will be a waste of time because they could simply look up a modified version of what had happened on the web.  Also they think that pictures and titles suggest more important information and tend to disregard the actual text.  Society expects information to be handed to them with no effort on their part whatsoever and they just care about the main outcome, not the whole story.

2.  The author uses hyperbole throughout the whole article when describing the "large block of uninterrupted text" and society's reactions to it.  This technique helps the author advance the argument because it exaggerates his point perfectly.  It is also ironic because the article itself was basically interrupted text.  This article was confusing at first to understand, but once you read the whole article it all came together and you could interpret the meaning behind it, proving his point.  Society should take the time to receive all of the facts and interpret the meaning for themselves instead of waiting on the media to tell them of the problem and then offer them their idea of the solution/reaction; clearly details matter.

SWA #20

"Hunger Is Still a Problem Around the World" by Ismail Serageldin.  Nutrition.  David Haugen and Susan Musser, Eds.  Opposing Viewpoints Series.  Greenhaven Press, 2012.  Ismail Serageldin, "Abolishing Hunger,"  Issues in Science & Technology, vol. 25, no. 4, Summer 2009, pp. 35-38;  Fall 2009 by the University of Texas at Dallas, Richardson, TX.  Reprinted with permission.

This article would interest anyone who wants to help change the food system in the world.  The audience could be anyone.  The article offered many instructions to take in order to fix the current problems.  An increase in food production, which would lead to an increase in technology, new biofuels, more research, and new developments of water use would all contribute to fixing the problems.  The author is pointing out the things that are wrong with the system and offering many different solutions.  The article didn't alter my viewpoint, but i definitely agree with the claims.  The hunger issue should be addressed and the author's suggestions would be beneficial towards the solution.

This source will be useful in my project because it offers a variety of solutions to one main problem.

Searchinger, Timothy.  "A Quick Fix to the Food Crisis."  Scientific American 305.1 (2011): 14. Psychology and Behavioral Sciences Collection.  EBSCO.  Web 26 Oct. 2011

This article matches its title.  The audience would be anyone interested in fixing the food industry.  This one offers some useful statistics that could be used in my project.  The main idea is that biofuels are in too much demand and that they are taking away from our ability to feed the hungry.  I agree with the author's claims and I think that this issue should be addressed.

SWA #19

1. Andriesen mentions all of the criteria that make up a sport such as scoring, racing, whether it requires physical effort, taking turns, but he never actually defines his personal opinion.  He states that whether an activity is considered a sport is to be determined by each individual.  He does compare the Olympic sport curling to requiring "about the same level of effort as sweeping the back porch".  This could mean that he is slighting curling as a sport, or he is simply stating that effort isn't an important fact in curling because the sport is still a competition and timing is involved.  I think he is implying that an individual my consider an activity to be a sport if it requires one, many, or all of the criteria he has suggested, but that each individual is left to decide that on their own.

2.  It might be important to have accepted criteria for what constitutes a sport if you're having a discussion about this topic.  I think that everyone is entitled to their own opinion of what a sport is and I will respect that.  I think a sport should require physical effort otherwise I would consider it a game.  I think that sports can be games, but games cannot be sports.  Sports are competitive, but contests are not sports.  Knowing the criteria for what a sport is will only benefit you in an argument, otherwise the information can only be applied by the individual.

SWA #18 Research Project Ideas

1. World Hunger
This issue was the easiest to find reliable sources of information.  World hunger has been an issue forever and it's about time that we receive some answers or suggestions to how we can truly help relieve this social issue.  I would like to write about this topic because I think I have found plenty of reliable sources.  One source suggests that science and technology will lead to the end of hunger.  Another source suggests that the media has not said much about the raised food prices.  It says that the production of the food has not slowed down at all, yet the demand for food has risen outrageously.

2. Depression: Males vs. Females
The subject of depression has always interested me, possibly because I have experienced it in the past.  It was fairly easy to find sources based on this topic.  I think it will be very interesting to find out what the differences actually are between depression in males versus depression in females.  One source suggests that females are more prone to depression due to serotonin levels.

3. Substance Abuse in Local Students
This was probably the hardest topic to research because the information is limited to the Columbia area.  It would be interesting to learn about this topic, though.  The sources listed statistics and compared the drug use with aggression and suicidal thoughts.

SWA #17 Factory food artificially cheap, bad for your health

This article was very informative and quite disturbing.  I think that it is disgusting and disgraceful that the animals are given a "genetically modified feed that is foreign to the animals' native diets"  and that the feed is "infested with rodents and feces."  Who in their right mind would ever be interested in eating such things?!   The author claims that we need to revert back to the old ways of agriculture on trusted family farms and get rid of factory farming.  I agree with the author because I certainly do not want to eat meat that basically consists of fat and toxic materials.  According to the EPA "at least 47 waterway contamination events that killed hundreds of aquatic animals were linked back to animal waste runoff from factory farms" in Iowa.  Aquatic animals?  These factories should not be killing aquatic animals as well.  Clearly these factory farms are not doing us any good and they must be stopped.  The author is convincing because these reasons are legitimate motives for wanting to return to an agricultural system.  The factory food system is definitely something that needs attention in our country.  All animals deserve to be treated with respect and we deserve to eat foods that are rich in nutrients, not foods that are grown and raised with hormones and harmful chemicals.

SWA #15 Fear Factories

He starts out by informing us that he has written a book this particular issue.  Then he goes on by introducing the subject.  He says, "industrial livestock farming is among a whole range of animal-welfare concerns that extends from canned trophy-hunting to whaling to product testing on animals to all sorts of more obscure enterprises like the exotic-animal trade and the factory farming of bears in China for bile believed to hold medicinal and aphrodisiac powers" (108).  He also says that it is our "responsibility to know" about what happens to the animals.  He then talks about the obligations towards the treatment of animals and says that this lets us feel "personally opposed to cruelty but unwilling to impose that view on others" (109).  Scully mentions the seriousness of the cruelty when he describes their environments.  He says, "they lie covered in their own urine and excrement, with broken legs from trying to escape or just to turn, covered with festering sores, tumors, ulcers, lesions" (113).  He tries to appeal to his audience with a strong pathos by offering information to make us think and to disturb us in order make us feel sympathetic.  He organizes the article by slowly intensifying each claim until the conclusion.  He continues by telling us about how they have been "tampering with genes" for future cloning of animals.  Everything just makes the audience more and more concerned with the present and the future.  He finally concludes by personally appealing to the audience by saying, "and when human beings cannot do something humanely, without degrading both the creatures and ourselves, then we should not do it at all" (118).  This is a perfect conclusion because this is the statement that he wants to stick with the reader when they finish.  It sums up his whole point in one simple sentence and hopefully reaches out to the audience in order to start a reaction for a better system of the treatment of innocent creatures.

SWA #14 R.A. #2 Outline

Introduction: The first advertisement of Calvin Klein's new fragrance "One Shock" appeals to both genders in their late teens or early 20s.  The ad stereotypes the party scene in young people through their image.  The second advertisement for Juicy Couture's "Viva La Juicy" appeals to an audience young women.  This ad stereotypes women into thinking that they need this product in order to be sexy, beautiful, and appealing to men.

Thesis:  Although consumers cannot truly determine if they like a fragrance until they have tested it, they can get a feel for what the fragrance is like by interpreting the visuals that make up the advertisement for it.

A. Images

CK: The models actions include dancing, flirting and smiling.  Some have their eyes closed and others have them open.  The guy models have their shirts off and one of them has a mohawk.

JC: This ad features a model dressed in a skimpy black outfit with that mesh-like, itchy material typically found under dresses to make them pouffy.  She is sitting down in an awkward position against an off-white wall while holding the fragrance in her hand like she is trying to sell it with her appearance. She is staring at the audience as well.

B. Colors
CK: The picture is mostly in black and white and then has transparent tinting on top of it including the colors green and pink (which correspond with the bottles of the fragrances) and some purple/blue as well as a hint of red, orange and yellow.  There is also yellow and white displayed through the light-drawing that was added to the image.  This was probably done to add to their idea of a wild, crazy, great time at a party.
JC: The color of the font corresponds with the large pink bow on the fragrance in the picture, while contrasting to the neutral tones in the rest of the ad.

   

C. Font

CK: The font adds to the "fun" created in the ad.  It appears to be a font called "Tapewriter" which is made up of squares and looks like it would or has been on a video-game of some sort.  The font on the actual bottles is a simple sans serif and the word "shock" on the girl's bottle is written to look like it was made with lipstick or nail polish or a paint brush.  The word "shock" on the boys bottle looks like it was written with paint and some is dripping down the bottle.

JC: The font is possibly original to the company, but looks as though someone wrote it in nail polish or with a paint brush.b. The brand name is written in "Old English CE," a font that looks old-fashioned like the title of an article in a newspaper.

Conclusion:  Both advertisements appeal to a similar audience except one is directed towards both girls and guys while the other is only directed towards girls.  They both have implications about attraction and  both have their product included in the ad.  The visuals contribute to the overall effect of the ads and allow the audience to choose which fragrance might be the best fit based on what they interpreted from the ad.
CK: Ad is implying that all young people do with their time is go out and party.  At the same time, people will be interested in this product if they do go out and party regularly.  Others could be offended by this stereotype and lack interest.
JC: The ad implies that if women use this fragrance then they will be attractive. In another perspective the ad could be suggesting that by using this product, you will look and feel as attractive as the woman in this picture if others smell this product on you, without having to dress like her.

SWA #13 Rhetorical Analysis #2

Both of these ads were in the October 2011 edition of Nylon Magazine.

1st ad: New fragrance for her and him from Calvin Klein called "One Shock"

The details written about the fragrance are written a font that looks to be "Tapewriter." This font is made up of squares and kind of looks like it would be in a video-game.  The ad pictures what looks like a group of teens or young adults out partying.  It features some light drawing (in yellow) which adds to the effect by making it look more interesting and fun.  The color scheme includes transparent lime green and a bright pink with some purple, blue, and black color as well.  The models appeal to be flirting, dancing, etc.  Some of them have their eyes open and some have them closed.  The creator of this ad was trying to appeal to the party scene of young adults, implying that the use of their fragrances will allow consumers to feel more attractive and will result in a fun night of partying or entertainment.  This ad culturally stereotypes young people by implying that all young people do is party.  At the same time, people could find interest in their product if they want to because they want to look like the people in the ad.    

2nd ad: Juicy Couture for their women's fragrance called "Viva La Juicy"

The name of the fragrance, "Viva La Juicy" is written in what might be their own original font.  It kind of looks like someone wrote it with nail polish or a paint brush.  The font is also in pink which corresponds with the pink bow on the top of the bottle in the picture and contrasts with the neutral colors in the rest of the ad.  The brand name is written in "Old English CE," a font that looks old-fashioned like a fancy title in a newspaper.  The model is dressed in a skimpy black outfit made out of and is sitting down against an off-white wall.  She is staring at the audience and is holding up the product as to sell it directly.  This product would appeal to young women in their late teens and early 20s.  This ad is implying that if women use their fragrance that they will be attractive.  This ad culturally stereotypes women into thinking that they need this product in order to be sexy or beautiful or appealing to men.  In another perspective it could be suggesting that by using this product, others might find you as attractive as the woman in the picture when they smell it on you.  

SWA #11 Ads

#1: Jet Airways

http://imageshack.us/f/237/ad0070804yp3.png/

The targeted audience is anyone who travels on airplanes and in particular families.  The product is a private cabin while traveling in an airplane.  The picture is a mom reading a book to her daughter on a plane.  It is supposed to make the targeted audience feel content by having privacy on the ride.   The advertisement says that someday all international airlines will offer this, but Jet Airways claims that they are the only ones that offer this feature now.  

#2:  Color Mirage

http://www.communicatorsintl.com/images/advertising-communicators-intl.jpg

The targeted audience is anyone in need of resurfacing tile/blocks.  They emphasize the color by providing a black and white background, making the product seem futuristic.  Without knowing what this is advertising it looks like an add for sunglasses or something to do with vision.  If you read the text it says that it is company for glass products.   It claims that its products are "no illusion" and that they are really unique and a "new vision in glass surfacing."  

#3: Pantene Pro-V Products

http://www.femilicious.com/blog/wp-content/ponyadsmall.jpg

The targeted audience is women who want to gain or maintain silky, shiny, and healthy hair.  The advertisement is just a profile picture of a woman from her shoulder-up and is in black and white.  The ad is implying that if you use Pantene products you will be as pretty as the woman in the picture (well, at least your hair).  The color of their logo stands out from the black and white image to add contrast and to draw attention to the source of the product.

SWA #12 My Postsecret Card

My Postsecret card was about Alice from Alice in Wonderland.  Her secret was that she "tripped" and fell down a rabbit hole into her own fantasy world.  I conveyed this implicitly because there is more meaning than just what was written on the card.  I chose to write the word "tripped" because it could imply the interpretation about Alice entering a world of drugs.  This was left up to interpretation by the creator, but it could explain her character in a deeper manner.  Her secret is also known as dramatic irony, because we, the audience, know that she has fallen into a fantasy world, but the other characters such as her family do not know.  I colored the background so it could appeal "trippy" or psychedelic.  I included an eye crying because in the cartoon Alice says, "Oh dear, I do wish I hadn't cried so much."  The tears were supposed to  be falling towards the teacup.  I wanted the text to be legible and I was hoping that the visuals I included would help others figure out who it was about.  I wanted the viewer to be able to relate to her because sometimes we all get lost in our own little world full of nonsense.

EC 9/29: PostSecret

I decided to write about the one that says, "I stopped taking my bipolar medication so I could take LSD." This is an example of an explicit claim because it is a direct statement.  The pictures support it implicitly by letting us interpret what follows after the statement is revealed.  We can infer that the person will become unstable, possibly go crazy, and get addicted to LSD.  The visuals make it stronger because they are a great representation in support of the claim.  The author could be anyone as well as the audience.  The author could be someone who is worried about their life now or someone who has found inspiration from their rebellion.  The audience could be others in a similar situation or just anyone interested in the subject of drugs, the brain, addiction, motives, etc.  The way that the text is typed and the fact that the pictures look like magazine cut-outs make me believe that the author wants to remain anonymous.  They could be worried about the consequences of someone finding out or they simply just want to be relieved of their latest secret.

Hungry Planet

I think that the photographer is trying to show us how easy it is for the world to access natural food from Earth.  He is pointing out the fact that American food is not natural.  When compared to all these other countries around the world all of our food is processed or made by others instead of being grown, gathered, hunted, and cooked ourselves.  He also addresses the sizes of proportions.  The weeks worth of food for the American family is ridiculously more in comparison to a weeks worth of food for a family in Chad.  Even though the family's in Ecuador and Kuwait have about the same amount of food as an American family, it is mostly natural food that they have collected or grown on their own.

SWA #10 How to Become a More Responsible Eater in a Dorm Setting

1. Attempt to grow a plant in your window-  mint to put in your tea or rosemary for other meals.  Reuse a lemon by putting it in the garbage disposal to clean the blade and add a fresh scent to your sink.

2. Make your own food occasionally.  Start by maybe adding a homegrown tomato to your sandwich and then gradually try to create your own meal.  Take a break from the cafeteria, fast food, kraft easy mac, etc. and make something that only requires one pan or pot such as sautéed vegetables or chili (if you have a community kitchen).

3. Learn the origins of the food you buy, and buy the produce that is closest to campus.

4. Go to a farmers market on campus or in town and ask the farmers about how they grow their food.

5. Learn and research industrial food production when you can.  It is important to know where your food is coming from and how it was treated before it made its way towards you and inside of you.  Investigate online or ask whoever prepared it for you.

6.  Learn how to properly grow and raise your own fruits, vegetables, etc. Maybe you will enjoy gardening and want to grow your own herbs or vegetables.

7. Learn as much as you can, by direct observation and experience if possible, of the life histories of the food species.  You can do research in the library for more information.

SWA #9 The Cooking Ape

Wrangham claims that cooking has had a significant impact on humans when he compares the changes in food supplies between chimpanzees and gorillas.  When there is a shortage of food, the gorillas are able to adapt and collect different food. Their ability to adapt allows them to survive, whereas chimps cannot survive without the food that they are dependent on.  By noting this little difference between them, Wrangham is able to show us how humans have evolved from apes through even the slightest change, like cooking food.  Our bodies have adjusted to evolutional changes due to cooking.  We do not need large teeth or jaws for chewing raw meat.  Our teeth have gotten smaller because they have adapted to our simple needs of chewing cooked foods.  He notes how our ancestors "absorbed less energy" because their food was mostly indigestible materials with much more fiber than what we intake now.  Wrangham states that eating cooked food has caused an increase in the weight of women and an increase in the size of the human brain.   He then ties everything together by mentioning its impact on the social aspects of society through the years.  He explains how women received their role in kitchen by providing food for the man in exchange for protection.  In the past the protection would be to ward off other men, but now it is more like a gesture of gratitude for their working partner.  All of these points allow us to see how fire and cooking resulted in the development of humans.

ICW 9-20-11

• Are my points strong?
• Does it flow well?
• Does the reader understand my analysis?
• Do I need to expand on anything?
• Is the format written correctly? 

Radical Homemakers: Appeal to Ethos

Hayes creates a strong ethos throughout the argument.  Beginning with her background, she grew up on a farm.  She went to school and earned her Ph.D. in sustainable agriculture.  After receiving this degree she "questioned the value of a 9-to-5 job" (291).  She realized that she was contradicting herself by working instead of being sustainable in her own home.  Hayes went on to say, "we'd require two cars, professional wardrobes, convenience foods to make up for lost time in the kitchen ... and we'd have to buy, rather than produce, harvest, and store, our own food" (291).  This paragraph in her argument shows the audience that she means well with her words.   By saying this, she points out her concern for sustainability and her ecological footprint.  The audience can see her passion for the argument she is making.  She appeals to be very knowledgeable on the subject of homemaking.  Originally both sexes equally divided up the housework.  Then the Industrial Revolution sprung about and "men left the household to work for wages, which were then used to purchase goods and services that they were no longer home to provide" (292).  This tells the audience that she has a clear understanding of the history of homemaking.

SWA #7 Rhetorical Analysis Outline

Title: When Radical Seems Worthwhile


Thesis: Shannon Hayes uses passionate strategies to support her argument that Americans should return to the old ways of homemaking in order to improve our ecological footprint and create a better life for everyone.


 I. Hayes creates a strong ethos throughout the argument.

    A. She grew up on a farm and received her Ph.D. in sustainable agriculture. Then she realized that she was contradicting herself by working instead of being sustainable in her own home.

      1. "We'd require two cars, professional wardrobes, convenience foods to make up for lost time in the kitchen ... and we'd have to buy, rather than produce, harvest, and store, our own food" (291).  

       a. This paragraph shows the audience that she means well with her words.  By saying this, she points out her concern for sustainability and her ecological footprint.  Her tone informs us of her passion for the subject therefore allowing us to see her as a credible source for the argument.

   B. She is very knowledgeable on the subject of homemaking.

    1. Originally both sexes equally divided up the housework.  Then the Industrial Revolution sprung about and "men left the household to work for wages, which were then used to purchase goods and services that they were no longer home to provide" (292).  

     a. She clearly has an understanding of the "origins of homemaking."

II. The pathos appeals are supported by relatable anecdotes.  

  A. Hayes informs us of her monetary situations before deciding to become a homemaker.

    1. She mentions that her family's costs of living were too high.

      a. This can relate to most all of American families today.  Considering the current economic situations, many families are probably struggling to pay bills and support their families.  

  B. She defines Housewife's Syndrome to appeal specifically to women.

    1. Defined as "where American girls grew up fantasizing about finding their husbands, buying their dream homes and appliances, popping out babies, and living happily ever after" (292). 

  C. Radical Homemakers

    1. Hayes also appeals to a wide audience.

      a. She mentions that she visits single parents, divorcees, widows, married couples, etc.  Also people that live in rural, urban, and suburban areas. 

III. Tone 
  A. Hayes uses an inviting and innocent tone to appeal to her audience.
    1. "what, exactly, would be the repercussions for taking a pro-homemaker stand and seeking out others?" (291).


IV. Her audience is American families "suited to more than just women in married couples" (293). 
  A. At some point she has specific appeals to women.
    1. "Homemaking, like eating organic foods, seemed a luxury to be enjoyed only by those wives whose husbands garnered substantial earnings..." (292).
  B. She also appeals to more than just women. 
    1. "see what homemaking could look like when men and women shared both power and responsibility" (293).
    2. "I visited with single parents, stay-at-home dads, widows and divorcees.  I spent time in families with and without children" (293). 


V. Her argument is presented in three contexts.
 A. Social
   1. women could leave the home and start a profession
 B. Historical
   1. "origins of homemaking"
     a. evolution of homemaking throughout the years. "The household was no longer a unit of production.  It was a unit of consumption" (292).
 C. Cultural
   1. Different from "conventional American culture"


Conclusion: Hayes proposes a very valid argument towards her subject of "radical homemakers."  She strongly approaches a variety of people and has a surplus of knowledge on the issue to support it well.  Her tone and style are not forceful or extremely opinionated.  Hayes claims are reasonable and I think she will have persuaded her audience.  Although this is well written and supported, I'm not entirely sure that people will actually resort to this type of living even though it sounds like a wonderful way to help out families and society.

ICW 9-13 Radical Homemakers

The author strongly supports her argument by effectively appealing to ethos and pathos.  She has background information, personal experience, supporting anecdotes and reasoning to defend her argument.

SWA #6 Meet the Radical Homemakers

If modern society would go back to the traditional ways of homemaking, then we could improve our ecological footprint and offer a better environment for our families and communities.  Hayes builds her argument by giving her audience a variety of information while keeping a rather open opinion on the subject at hand.  She creates an ethos by first stating that after calculations, homemaking would actually save her family money as opposed to both her and her husband working two jobs and combining their income.  If she worked too then they would need to pay for "convenience foods" and daycare for their children, whereas if she stayed at home she could produce, harvest, and store her own food and watch the kids and the house, too.  Hayes also tells us "the origins of homemaking" (292).  She makes appeals to pathos by explaining the "housewife's syndrome" (292).  She strategizes in another way by actually meeting and seeing the lives of real "radical homemakers" in U.S. She then attempts to convince her audience that homemaking would help us all out by benefitting the sustainability and future of our families and ourselves.

SWA #5 Womb for Rent-For a Price

1.  Goodman is informing her audience of this "black market" of surrogacy that is becoming a common occupation for women around the world.  In India, the government actually sees this as a "growth industry."  Her main claim is that our world is so focused on the marketplace to the point where we are risking our own lives for wealth.  The marketplace is everyone's obsession and people will basically do anything for money, like becoming a surrogate mother.  I think Goodman is somewhat disappointed in the status of the world and is simply trying to let us all know of its existence.
2.  She makes great appeals to pathos by letting her audience see both sides of the argument.  Arguing against surrogate mothers, she says, "We cannot, for example, sell ourselves into slavery.  We cannot sell our children.  But the surrogacy business comes perilously close to both of these deals" (161).  Goodman also allows her audience to see a positive outcome to this occupation by saying, "A surrogate in Anand used the money to buy a heart operation for her son" (161).  She seems to show more support to the side that is against surrogacy, but at least she presents the other side as well by offering a legimate reason that a mother might succumb to surrogacy.
3.  How would this argument be received by different audiences?  This question doesn't really have much effect on my perception of Goodman's argument because I think she did a great job supporting both sides and not particularly expressing her opinion in a violent manner.  She lets the whole audience relate to the subject and allows them to see the other side as well.   Goodman does suggest that she is against surrogate mothers, but she doesn't harshly attack the side in support of them in her argument.
4.  In the article, Goodman mentions that women in third world countries get trapped into being surrogates because they are "illiterate" and fingerprint the contracts.  This is disturbing simply because I do not like to hear about people being taken advantage of, especially for something as serious as carrying  another's child.   At the same time, I am happy that the other mother was able to afford a heart operation for her son.  I understand that money is necessary to maintain a living, but I agree that surrogate mothers come "perilously close" to selling our children and ourselves to slavery.

ICW 9-6 Catharine Beecher

Catharine grew up in a religious family.  Her mother died when she was a teenager, so she had to raise her siblings in her mother's place.  She was a strong feminist and believed that women should be educated and be educators.  Even though she thought this, she did not support women gaining rights through politics.  This gives me a better understanding of why she wrote what she did.  In her time, women were taught to appreciate this role, but later women will decide that they want a new challenge.

SWA #4 On the Preservation of a Good Temper in a Housekeeper

A housekeeper could be defined as a wife, mother, and caretaker of the home.  An "equable and cheerful temper" is necessary for a housekeeper because without it the household will not be happy.  She has to be content for the sake of the rest of the family, because if she is not then the rest of the family is not.
   The housekeeper should see her tasks of the day to be a challenge for her to tackle.  This way, she will feel accomplished when she is done.  "System, economy, and neatness, are valuable" (251) for the well-being of the household.  The article also states that that she must "refrain from angry tones" (251).  Yelling may result in the outcome the housekeeper wants but it is not necessary; a calm tone will suffice.  A woman must listen to her husband and the other needs of the family and respond appropriately to fit them.
   I think that Beecher definitely has the right idea when she writes that the housekeeper should have a good temper.  I do not think that her writing reaches all women on the social hierarchy.  She represents a middle-class woman.  The upper-class would have maids so the women would not necessarily be the "housekeeper" she describes.  Women of a lower class would probably have more trouble being good tempered if they are always worried about getting the next meal on the table for their kids and keeping everyone in good health.  Generally speaking, I think Beecher has good ideas, but in modern times this article would have a completely different meaning and response from readers.

SWA #3 Am I My Brother's Keeper?

Weisel has survived a significant event in history, one that no one in our generation has experienced firsthand: the Holocaust.  Having survived that, he has a very different view on life and the world than most people.  He defines things in a different perspective to offer insight not often found in today’s society.  According to Weisel, information is only temporary.  He says, “We are informed about too many things” (42).  Once an event occurs, everyone is constantly focused on that one event, but when the next event occurs the previous one is no longer important.   Because communication has improved, information is so much easier to access and therefore is seen as less significant.  Weisel is trying to tell us that information can become knowledge if we absorb it, study it, and try to act out in response to it.  He believes that everyone should have responsibility, but his definition of responsibility is more intense than the one we would think of.  Weisel sees responsibility as being accountable for everyone.  In his eyes, we should try to help out everyone that we can, and if we cannot then we should try.  We should be our “brother’s keeper” to all people, not just to family, friends, and neighbors.  He does not believe that there are strangers in the world, he sees everyone as a brother.  He says, “I always feel strongly about the person who needs me.  I don’t know who that person is, but if the person needs me, I somehow must think of that person more than about myself” (45).  His definition of responsibility actually requires more responsibility!  With the responsibility of being our brother’s keeper for all people, we can gain knowledge.  We can use information that we’ve learned to try and help out our brothers and therefore become knowledgeable and responsible at the same time.   Weisel says that if people “talk sincerely” then they will gain something rewarding out of it.  He encourages dialogue and believes that one’s problems are their own, but they can receive support from others to get through them.  He truly believes that we should all be there for one another, even those we don’t know because everyone needs other people to survive.  We should listen to each other, respect each other, learn from each other, converse with each other, and protect each other.  We should be our brother’s keeper, for all of our brothers all the way around the world.

In Class Writing 8-30

I would say that my family's relationship with technology is pretty healthy.  We divide our time up so we aren't constantly stimulated.  I definitely think that there is a generation gap.  My father works for a business company so he does work on a computer everyday, but sometimes he needs help learning how to do things.  My mother doesn't really know how to do things with technology.  She always asks me to show her how to do something or teach her how to do it.  Most of the time she doesn't remember how to do it once I teach her and I have to show her again, but she knows how to facebook and she regularly checks her account.  My dad has a facebook but he rarely checks his.  My sister and I are very knowledgeable in technology.  We are very similar because we both like to keep up with the new devices, but we also know how to balance our time so that we can do other things.  I like being able to keep in touch with her while shes a couple hundred miles away studying at Virginia Tech.

SWA #2

When Richtel quotes that “technology is rewiring our brains” he is pointing out a shift in the thought-process and attention span of the human brain.  We no longer find interest in simply reading a book or riding bikes outside in the sunshine.  There is a sudden need to always be interacting on an electronic device.  Scientists say that, “Stimulation provokes excitement-a dopamine squirt-that researchers say can be addictive.  In its absence, people feel bored.”  I find this to be very true in society today.  Richtel supports his argument by describing to us the lives of the Campbell family.

The Campbell family represents the future (and families similar to theirs already out there).  The father works with computers all day and has become so addicted to the stimulation that he is constantly with a gadget.  The children are also growing up with these toys and are becoming distracted from normal human-to-human interaction. The mother admits to being distracted when the author mentions her burning the cookies twice while being distracted by the Internet.  At the same time, she struggles to do what she can to limit her kids on their gadgets because she doesn’t want them to be so dependent on them or distracted by them.  This family is a perfect warning for present and future families growing up around all of this stimulating technology.  The author uses the Campbell family as an example to show others that this is a serious issue and that family bonding could be disrupted, and honestly quite disappointing, if people become so dependent on technology.  Technology also encourages another major contribution to our latest generation- multitasking. 

Multitasking is generally seen as a talent or ability to complete more than one task at the same time.  The “myth of multitasking” is the belief that it is an accomplishment.  This article tells us that multitasking is not really a significant skill for one to acquire.   Studies show that people who multitask have a harder time determining what information is relevant and what information is not.  They are less efficient and actually have a harder time switching from one task to another in comparison to people who do not multitask.  Researchers also found that “multitaskers seem more sensitive than non-multitaskers to incoming information.” This definitely changed my view of multitasking.  I can multitask pretty well, but I only do it occasionally.  I understand what Richtel and the other researchers are pointing out.  I think that those who only focus on one task at a time will obviously have a better understanding of what they are doing as opposed to someone working on multiple things at once.  This article did provide very insightful information, but I think it is obvious that multitaskers are less efficient in their work.  Overall, I think that Richtel made a strong argument and supported it well while keeping me interested. 

Get Smarter Response

In the article "Get Smarter" Cascio points out that cognition has been evolving through the ages for thousands of years.  In "Is Google Making Us Stupid" Carr admits that the human mind is changing as well.  Although both articles admit that the brain is adapting due to technology, "Get Smarter" has a more futuristic approach to its explanation while the google article seems to somewhat disappointed, uncomfortable, and even worried about the future.
In "Get Smarter" it states that, "the increasing complexity and range of media we engage with have, over the past century, made us smarter, rather than dumber, by providing a form of cognitive calisthenics."  Cascio attempts to explain the probable outcome of our future.  He also notes different drugs that are currently growing in users who need help with concentrating, studying, etc.  Then he mentions that augmented intelligence "allows us to make ourselves smarter."  All of this information sounds very possible, which is quite intimidating.
On the other hand, Google tries to be smarter than us all.  Carr says, "their easy assumption that we'd all 'be better off' if our brains were supplemented, or even replaced, by an artificial intelligence is unsettling."  Carr ends the article by saying, "it is our own intelligence that flattens into artificial intelligence."
Both articles state that our minds are evolving and that human cognition relies more on multiple stimuli due to technological advances, but their authors' opinions on the matter are far from similar.

8-23-11 In-class writing

In the essay Is Google Making Us Stupid? the part that stood out most to me would be paying attention while reading books.  It talked about how this guy worked on computers daily and would find himself losing focus more quickly.  As I was reading the essay, it was hard for me to stay focused on the text because I was so distracted by other things such as the Internet.  I also found it interesting that the essay states how companies want to "drive us to distraction."  Personally, it's working.

SWA #1

My best writing experience was most likely writing my essays for college.  I was writing the first drafts for them in my AP English class my senior year of high school as an assignment.   My drafts were proofread and edited by my peers and my teacher.  It was a great experience because I was able to edit my essays using some feedback from multiple sources.  I also enjoyed writing the essays because the topics were very open and I could write passionately about the subjects even though I didn’t have complete control over what the subjects were.

            My worst writing experience would definitely be last year when I had to write a speech for a group project in my U.S. Government class.  The assignment was to write a speech for each political or social issue we were given, resulting in a total of two essays.  They had to be about three minutes long, so about two pages, single-spaced.  I had already written the first speech and completed it after days of working on it.  A girl in my group was supposed to be writing the second one, but waited until the night before it was due to work on it.  She told me that she had finished only a few hours after having started working on it.  I was so surprised that she had finished it so quickly and I asked her to email it to me so I could review it.  When I was reading the speech I could tell that she didn’t write it.  I searched some of the sentences online and an Obama speech appeared.  She plagiarized!  Of course I wasn’t going to let my name be attached to her mistake, so I ended up rewriting the entire speech.  It took me most of the night and I struggled, but managed to finish and deliver both speeches for the project.

            The government speech dilemma affected me the most out of the two experiences.  I have learned that I end up doing most of the work in my group projects.  The experience has also allowed me to see that people cannot always be trusted.  Beyond plagiarism and group projects I have realized that I have high expectations in life and that I am the only one who can determine my success.